I Saw God

I received a word from God this past week from two different women. The first was a stranger who bravely shared her testimony via Zoom all the way from Florida to us in our sanctuary in Summertown Baptist Church in southeast Georgia. The other was from a friend who has the gift of tongues. God has allowed me to interpret and understand that I must share what he has laid on my heart.

I have never shared with many people because I … well I just thought people would think I am crazy or not telling the truth, but it is true. I will tell it the best I can and have asked God for help. I can do nothing without Him.

My mother died a horrible death. She was sick for several weeks, very nauseous and unable to eat. She felt she was throwing up blood, but the doctors dismissed it. We were told many different things were wrong with her by different doctors, but none had the correct diagnosis.

Finally, I asked Mama to please go to the local doctor that I used. He saw her and put her in the hospital that day for tests. That night I got a call that she had been moved to ICU. We talked on the phone, and we decided it would be best if I Daddy and I came the following morning to see her.

When we got there, Mama looked and sounded good. We talked and enjoyed each other’s company. By this point she had started to bleed pretty badly when she used the bedside pan. The doctor came in to speak to us and told us that Mama would be moved to Savannah for an ulcer to be cauterized. I will never forget the way she looked at me on that stretcher. Her eyes pierced through me with love and longing that I cannot explain. She wanted me to ride on the ambulance with her, but they would not let me. I told her that I loved her and would see her when we all got to the next hospital. I got to see her very briefly in Savannah. They insisted that she be wheeled out immediately for the procedure.

Close family came, and we waited. Soon, we were called into one of those little conference rooms. Mama “had coded.” The ulcer was punctured during the procedure. I fell to the floor sobbing. They had brought her back, and I still had hope. It was a long night. I finally got to see her. Blood was coming from every crevice of her body. Sixty-four pints had been given, but it just came pouring back out. Daddy was asked to make a decision. The efforts and machines were stopped. I sat with her and talked to her and told her what a good Mama and Nanny she was and that we all loved her. Mama died January 24, 2009.

We buried her in shock and daze. Then Satan began the attacks-convincing me it was my fault. I didn’t sleep or eat. I saw counselors. I would sit and scream and cry and literally pull my hair out. I mean I should have known months earlier it was an ulcer. It could have been taken care of, and Mama would still be here. After all, I needed her. See, I blamed myself. I even heard God say to me one night in the closet as I cried out to Him while my children slept. I heard deep within me, “Who do you think you are? You do not control who lives and dies!”

THEN one night, I had a vision. This I know: I was not asleep. I was sitting up in my bed. The lights were out, but there was a bright light above my head. I saw Mama. She was beautiful, young, and healthy. She said, “You must stop doing this to yourself. I am happier than I have ever been.” A peace came over me, and instantly the attacks and torment ceased. I will never forget it. Every detail is etched in my brain. She had on a pink top. Her teeth and face were white and glowing. The smile she had was so peaceful. I did reach out to touch her, but when the words were spoken she was gone. I have not seen her again.

That was God. My mother did not come to visit me that night, but my Father in Heaven did. He used the face of one I had seen and let me know Mama is with Him, and I will see her again. He loves me so much. He did not and has not given up on me.

This message is for someone out there. God speaks to us all the time. We must listen and reflect when praying and reading His Word. Sitting here now. This is still so hard to grasp. The love He has for each of us is a love that I don’t know if we will fully understand on this side of Heaven. He is good. He is sovereign. His ways are not our ways. The peace and joy I now have is truly unexplainable, but it is there for everyone He created in His image. He loves us so much. May we be obedient and love in return.

Being and Feeling are not the same

We may feel lonely, depressed, or even anxious, at times, but there is a difference in being and feeling. And we have a helper within us at all times if we have accepted His free gift of salvation.

Webster’s definition of the verb be/am is “equal to.” It gives the example, “God is love.” I could use the example, I am a woman. However, the definition of feel is “to undergo a passive experience of” and “to have one’s sensibilities affected by,” as in to have one or all of our five senses affected by things/situations in our earthly environment or surroundings.

Would you agree that being equal to and feeling are absolutely NOT the same thing? I am not discrediting the way we feel because emotions are certainly real. However, God has overcome all forces of evil for us. He tells us in John 16:33 that He has overcome the world. He also tells us in Jeremiah 17:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things. Since our feelings change, they can be very deceiving. We have to be really careful and not let our heart be dictated by the physical world but only by the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Let us never forget that we have the presence of almighty God living within us who never changes and who has already defeated the darkness of this world. We are more than conquerors in Jesus Christ.

According to Priscilla Shirer in Discerning the Voice of God, “Every human being has a spirit,” which is “designed for relationship with God.” When we become Christ followers, The Holy Spirit, which is the third PERSON of the trinity, “takes up residence in [our] human spirit.” So, see, we have the power that raised Christ from the dead living within us. This power never changes and has overcome every evil force.

We are not anxiety even if we feel anxious. We are not depression. We are never alone. He is always with us, strengthening us, and loving us so very much. Remember God never changes and God lives inside of us as the Holy Spirit, our Helper, so we “take every thought captive to be obedient to Christ.” We have already won because of what He did for us on the cross over 2,000 years ago.

What I have Learned

I have learned that Jesus is the only One who can satisfy every longing of my soul. No person can do this. No experience of this world can fulfill except being in the presence of God—the filling of His Holy Spirit. This is a peace that will never end. No thing in this world can ever satisfy. It always leads me to craving more.. BUT GOD can and will my portion be. He is my peace.


It has been a little over 7 years since the phone call came from one of the the kindest, smartest gentlemen I know telling me that my daughter had cancer. God has drenched us with His faithfulness, love and mercy from the very beginning whether she was sick in the back seat from her first chemo treatment or driving us to her (NOW) YEARLY checkup at Shands, 250 miles away, to check in with that same gentleman who carefully mended and has tended to her left arm ever since. To God be all glory and Honor!

Christians are Meant to Support One Another in the Battle for the Mind

Chaos—if we look at this world which is not truly our home through mere human lenses, we will be in turmoil and perplexed beyond consolation, BUT GOD has not given His children a spirit of fear or confusion! So, beloved, do not let the enemy have one bit of your mind. Let us help one another in this endeavor by creating peace in a world struggling in total chaos. How do we do this? Depend on Truth-the only TRUTH-HIS WORD-THE BIBLE!

Let’s build a deep root system where we have a firm faith that no earthly storm can topple over. Let’s lean on one other. We can learn so much about God from His Creation. For example, the roots of aspen trees are actually part of ONE organism. This means each tree is a limb of the larger organism, and when one tree starts to suffer, the root system begins to turn toward the suffering one and takes in extra water and nutrients for that one. Another example is the root system of the corn plant. Corn has what is called brace roots. You can actually eat these brace roots. They are so sweet! This sweet root system gives carbs back to the soil which feeds it microbes for growing strong!

Just like root systems in the physical world, the Christian life is not meant to be lived alone. As children of the Most High God, we have the Holy Spirit living within us with all power and glory that ROSE CHRIST from the dead, brothers and sisters. We truly need one another. We need to be rooted in truth and there for one another in Christian love every moment of everyday. In this way, we can help each other guard the mind and be rooted in all truth-HIS TRUTH-THE ONLY TRUTH!

Mama’s Red Lipstick

She was ready and said, “Hand me my lipstick.”

Seriously, Mama? Lipstick now?

“”Yes, the preacher is here.”

Mama went to be with Jesus a few hours later. She actually bled to death after being punctured internally during a routine medical procedure.

Now, when I tell you that Mama loved her some red lipstick, I mean, she loved red lipstick and wore it everyday. Honestly, I found it a bit odd. She was a homemaker, and we rarely went anywhere.

You cannot tell just how red her lipstick, but we did go to an amusement park on this day!!
Maybe if the pictures were not 40 years old, you could see the red lipstick, but look how good red looked on Mama.

All my life Mama said, “Put on a little lipstick, and you will feel better.” I finally understand after 48 years of life on this earth and living 12 of those without her. She was actually right. Imagine that!!! My mother knowing more than me. HA HA!! The color red. It really symbolizes life-eternal life that my Savior paid for.

I was reminded of Mama’s lipstick one morning on a recent camping trip to the beach. I got up, put on my very red lipstick, the only kind Mama wore. and I did feel better for a little while, anyway. (It eventually wore off.) I put on my beach attire for the day including cover up, and took a leisurely walk-coffee in hand around the campground. People spoke. I stopped and chatted. I made it to the end of the campground where my friend was having coffee, and she burst out laughing. “Why do you have that lipstick on for the beach?”

“Cause my mama said it makes you feel better! And I do. I feel really good!”

Red- it was one of the colors God wanted in His sanctuary-His dwelling place among the people who lived in the Old Testament times. I studied the color red a little bit and found that the tiny creature, coccus illcis, is often used in textiles, especially in ancient Israel, where the creatures are prevalent, to achieve the deep red color that was used in the sanctuary fabrics.

I thank Jesus that we don’t need to go to a sanctuary to experience God now. He lives in those He has sealed with the Holy Spirit. His blood was shed so that we have access to the King of Kings at any time. That same power that rose Christ from the dead also abides in us, His children, when we accept Him as Lord and Savior of our lives.

Psalm 22 is sometimes called the Psalm of the Cross. It was written 1,000 years before Jesus’ cruxjfivtion. You will be blessed to read the whole Psalm. I have included portions in this post.

“For I am a worm and not a person. A disgrace to mankind and despised by people.

Psalm 22:6

A little research taught me that the Hebrew word actually used here was “TOLA’ ATH.” This means crimson or scarlet worm. The same animal we know as coccus illus. He created all things and through Him all things hold together. His every word is: breath of life-so important.

According to an April 2014 article, “The Crimson or Scarlet Worm,” in Kid’s Think and Believe, Too.” The female worm gives birth one time in her life and then, dies. However, just before giving birth, she will attach herself to a tree trunk or another piece of wood permanently by creating a hard crimson shell. The eggs are laid and the babies are hatched under that hard, permanent, protectant shell. The mother begins the dying process and “oozes red dye” before she, herself, dies. During these three days her babies feed off of her and become stronger. After three days the mother loses the dye, turns white, and the dead carcass falls off the tree, “The red dye not only stains the wood she is attached to but also her young children” for the rest of their lives.

God is so good. He is intentional in everything He does and says. He is a God of order and not of chaos. He loves us so much that he bled out and died for you and me so that we can have lasting relationship with Him! Hallelujah!!!

Mama was right, too; ladies, a little lipstick can, indeed, help you feel a little better. I no longer have her here to hold my hand (or dress me in yellow and cut my bangs that way), but Jesus has covered me with His blood, and I am safe and free for all eternity.

Work Cited

The crimson or scarlet worm ” alpha omega institute. Alpha Omega Institute. (2014, April 15). Retrieved September 19, 2021, from https://www.discovercreation.org/blog/2011/11/20/the-crimson-or-scarlet-worm/.

Childhood Cancer Month

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. We thank God everyday for Ansley’s healing! It was a true miracle as her chemotherapy, itself, truly almost took her from us on more than one occasion. We are truly blessed that she has very few limitations due to bone cancer and the chemotherapy she received.

Ansley is a sophomore st ECI and is active in her church youth group and several clubs on campus. She is an honor student, ECI Bulldog Athletic Trainer, and has an after school job. I prayed for God to heal her, but My GOD has done more in her life than I ever could have dreamed or imagined. Her sister, Kaitlin, sacrificed a lot through the years and became very sick herself with Epstein-Barre and was in ICU for over a week a few years ago. Again, I begged God for healing. Today, Kaitlin is a nurse who takes care of critically ill patients herself. God is a good Father. He is sovereign, and His timing is perfect. Many times in my life, prayers have not been answered “the way I wanted.” Even when life is hard, and the pain seems unbearable, He is a loving Father. He sees what we do not see, and His ways are perfect.

Please know that childhood cancer is not rare. It’s the number one disease killer of children. Childhood cancers are different than adult cancers and require different treatment. Even in 2021, progress on the childhood cancer front has been limited. There has been progress, but we have a long way to go. Our kids deserve better.
If you would like to make a donation to help fight this battle you can do so at https://curechildhoodcancer.org

The ‘goodie’

This hit home! My daughter found an envelope last Sunday. She handed it to me. I rolled my eyes and put it in my Bible. This morning as I was cleaning, I found that the envelope had fallen out of my Bible and under the couch. It hit me yet again but harder today. AM I GIVING GOD MY BEST or what is left over after I get “the goody” out like a stick of chewing gum? He deserves my first fruits because anything (this is not just money and things but time, talents, etc-anything) HE ALLOWS me to have is HIS ANYWAYS!!! God bless!